Hello old friend. It’s been a while. I’ve been wanting to write but haven’t known what to say in the midst of all that’s happening right now. Didn’t want to add to the noise. But I wrote something today I wanted to share.

I’ve been rereading The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. The first time I read it was five years ago. This time around I am seeing it through new eyes, and actually completing the suggested meditations at the end of each chapter.

Today I finished reading the chapter on Desire. Desire is a funny thing. We all have desires, but most of the time the desires we think of are surface level. Oriah’s meditation on Desire encourages deeper thought by suggesting a reframing of desires that may arise when you try to complete the phrases “I want…”, “I need…” and “I desire…”. A reframing by using the structure “It doesn’t interest me if I ever… What I really want is…”

Here is part of what I wrote. Putting it out into the universe.

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It doesn’t interest me if I ever have someone who understands me completely, and accepts and loves me just as I am. What I really want is to understand myself completely, and to accept and love myself just as I am.

It doesn’t interest me if I ever have the courage to let in this kind of unconditional love. What I really want is to have the courage to give this love to another without expectation of it being reciprocated.

It doesn’t interest me if I ever have a life of freedom – freedom from the dictates and expectations of society, from feeling I might disappoint others, from filtering what I say. What I really want is inner freedom – freedom from my own expectations, from negative thoughts and anxiety, from self-criticism.

It doesn’t interest me if I ever have assurance that I won’t be lonely. What I really want is the courage and patience to meet new people and create bonds through exchanging life stories and listening with empathy. What I really want is true connection.

It doesn’t interest me if I ever have a family of my own, if I ever have my own little cocoon of love. What I really want is to nurture a little cocoon of love within – one that burns as soft embers even in the darkest of moments.

It doesn’t interest me if I ever have a life of love. How does one evaluate a life anyway? What I really want is to live everyday bravely, passionately, and compassionately, without fear or hesitation. What I really want is to live from the heart.

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I would encourage you to try this exercise in these uncertain times. To listen deeply and see what comes up. You might be surprised.

xo

J